My mom would have been 65 years old today.
I don't spend too much time being sad about her not being here. I feel as though she is still around me, and Lisa and Reid, and Uncle, and Aunty Carmen and her family, and everyone else she loved and cared for. When she passed away, my friend Grace told me about a Jewish saying her dad told her before he passed away, which is about how people continue to live on as long as the last person who remembers them is alive. (Something like that.) I absolutely know she is thought about and loved every single day, so she does live on.
One exception is when I think about how she was never able to know the important people who have come into my life since she's been gone, like Brian, or her granddaughters. Man, would she be the most amazing, proud, and loving grandma! I know she knows about them. I know she loves them. But it does suck. It sucks that she was never able to meet Brian and hang out with him, and it sucks that he was never able to talk and laugh with her and know her warmth, sense of humor, and what a truly inspiring woman she was. It sucks that my wonderful parents-in-law never knew her, and vice versa, since she would be so happy about my new family (I can totally picture them all having a good laugh at the table over dessert.) It sucks that she was never able to hold and play with Kyra and Ally and Lucy, because she would have gotten so much joy out of doing so, and she would adore them so much. It sucks that, even though we talk about her and they see her pictures, they will never really know their Gramma Linda. That's when it gets to me. That's when it really sucks.
But as I've said, I do believe she knows what's going on with us - or perhaps even, has something to do with all the wonderful things that happens to us. Before she passed away, she said she would be working to make good things happen for us, and let me tell you- she has not let us down! Lisa and I joke about how we picture her, wherever she is, all business-like, with a clipboard propped up in one arm and a pen in the other. She has her list, and makes check marks as she accomplishes getting us each awesome thing after the next. It was since she passed that so many dreams of ours have come to fruition. Lisa and Reid got married and Ally and Kyra were born. I met the love of my life, got married, and Lucy was born. We can't help but feel like she is really doing a good job of crossing things off her list for us. And that only fills me with joy. And gratitude. And love.
Happy Birthday, Mom! Love you always!
I don't spend too much time being sad about her not being here. I feel as though she is still around me, and Lisa and Reid, and Uncle, and Aunty Carmen and her family, and everyone else she loved and cared for. When she passed away, my friend Grace told me about a Jewish saying her dad told her before he passed away, which is about how people continue to live on as long as the last person who remembers them is alive. (Something like that.) I absolutely know she is thought about and loved every single day, so she does live on.
One exception is when I think about how she was never able to know the important people who have come into my life since she's been gone, like Brian, or her granddaughters. Man, would she be the most amazing, proud, and loving grandma! I know she knows about them. I know she loves them. But it does suck. It sucks that she was never able to meet Brian and hang out with him, and it sucks that he was never able to talk and laugh with her and know her warmth, sense of humor, and what a truly inspiring woman she was. It sucks that my wonderful parents-in-law never knew her, and vice versa, since she would be so happy about my new family (I can totally picture them all having a good laugh at the table over dessert.) It sucks that she was never able to hold and play with Kyra and Ally and Lucy, because she would have gotten so much joy out of doing so, and she would adore them so much. It sucks that, even though we talk about her and they see her pictures, they will never really know their Gramma Linda. That's when it gets to me. That's when it really sucks.
But as I've said, I do believe she knows what's going on with us - or perhaps even, has something to do with all the wonderful things that happens to us. Before she passed away, she said she would be working to make good things happen for us, and let me tell you- she has not let us down! Lisa and I joke about how we picture her, wherever she is, all business-like, with a clipboard propped up in one arm and a pen in the other. She has her list, and makes check marks as she accomplishes getting us each awesome thing after the next. It was since she passed that so many dreams of ours have come to fruition. Lisa and Reid got married and Ally and Kyra were born. I met the love of my life, got married, and Lucy was born. We can't help but feel like she is really doing a good job of crossing things off her list for us. And that only fills me with joy. And gratitude. And love.
Happy Birthday, Mom! Love you always!
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