On pregnancy
Unlike with birth stories, I find that not a lot people share their pregnancy stories. If you have friends who care to share or you care to ask, you might hear some of the highlights (or lowlights) of their pregnancies, but for the most part this time period seems get sort of glossed over. I'm finding my pregnancy to be a truly fascinating journey, so I thought I would jot down some of my thoughts now for myself (you know me- I won't remember this in a couple months) and anyone else who might be interested.
The first trimester went overall. I was completely exhausted, but I didn't experience many of the usual side-effects such as morning sickness, so that made it a lot easier. It actually took a while for everything to sink in and I was cautious, but happy, and I felt good. The second trimester was the hands-down winner of the Best Trimester Award. We started telling people and I started showing, so the whole thing became more of a reality- in a good way. My energy returned, and I felt beautiful and empowered. So far, the third trimester has been more challenging. I still feel good for the most part, though some of the fatigue seems like it may be coming back (or it could just be that I've been having a rough couple of weeks, which has been the case). And then of course there's the GD thing, which has really put a damper on things. Generally speaking though, I really haven't had to deal with a great majority of the physical "ailments" associated with pregnancy, so I can't complain from that standpoint. Physically, pregnancy has been pretty good to me.
Emotionally, pregnancy has been more of a roller-coaster. It makes sense, with all those hormones (a friend of mine described it as hormone soup) wreaking havoc in my body. I try to contain my whackadoodle tendencies as much as possible, but sometimes it's just beyond my control- as Brian can attest to (unfortunately for him). :(
The thing is- I'm just going to say it: Despite everything that's wonderful about it, being pregnant is stressful! I mean, is it just me? I'm responsible for housing and growing a person, after all! Well that, and I don't really know what's going on in there- which is an exercise in patience that I haven't quite mastered as of yet. You'd think seven months would be ample time to get this wait-and-see process down, but no such luck. So because we don't know what's going on in there, they have all these medical tests, right? Well, hello- medical tests (taking them, waiting for the results, interpreting the results, dealing with the consequences of the results) - it's all very stressful! Having gone through what I've gone through (with loved ones) over the past oh, say, 6+ years or so, I've become extremely anxious whenever medical tests are involved. Brian always reminds me to not stress until there is actually something to stress about- which I completely agree with- in theory (and I would preach the same to everyone else), but it's hard to do sometimes. Especially when so much remains unknown, and when I feel so responsible for providing a healthy living environment for Bean. Obviously, I realize that some of the things that come up are beyond my control, but others are not so clearly defined. Again- stress. But, I'm trying to get it under control. Some days this is easier said than done, and on any given day I can succeed or fail at it, but I do try to stay upbeat and positive. I have my momentary freak out episodes, but for the most part I think I've been doing a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. :)
Now that we're less than two months out, I've been feeling a lot of mixed emotions. I want the next two months to go by quickly and slowly at the same time (and yes, I realize this is impossible). On one hand, part of me wants to fast-forward to post-pregnancy because I'm so excited to meet Bean and see her and have her (out) here with us. Not to mention, I'm not gonna lie- there is some anxiety about the actual birthing process (but I'm working through that). Plus, the GD thing is really doing a number on me, so the quicker I can get through this phase of my life the better (it's a real learning experience, but I canNOT live like this)! On the other hand, another part of me wants to prolong the pregnancy for as long as possible. I actually kind of know how to do this part. Actual motherhood? Yikes! (I say this in jest, of course. Obviously I'm looking forward to motherhood- it's just a little overwhelming to think about is all.) All I'm saying is I know I can't stay pregnant forever (nor would I want to, really), but I want to appreciate this time as much as I can.
And so, as my pregnancy winds down, my plan is to try to brush off discomfort and stress as much as I can and enjoy these last remaining weeks to the greatest extent possible. This is a completely unique moment in time, after all, and I do want to be in the moment and soak it in as much as possible. Because really, GD aside, I love being pregnant. LOVE. I love my belly, I love knowing that Brian and I created this little person and that she is growing inside me, I love feeling her move around, and yeah- I love my maternity jeans. ;) Most of all I love how being pregnant makes me feel- I feel special, and beautiful, and like a kind of a superhero. And who wouldn't want to feel like that for as long as they could?
I'm sure I could keep going on and on, but I've already rambled enough, so I'll stop now. To put it simply, my main observation about pregnancy is that it's so much more well - everything (amazing, complicated, wonderful, stressful, blissful, easy, difficult, etc.) - than I ever imagined it would be. And I feel incredibly blessed that we're able to experience it- all of it.
The first trimester went overall. I was completely exhausted, but I didn't experience many of the usual side-effects such as morning sickness, so that made it a lot easier. It actually took a while for everything to sink in and I was cautious, but happy, and I felt good. The second trimester was the hands-down winner of the Best Trimester Award. We started telling people and I started showing, so the whole thing became more of a reality- in a good way. My energy returned, and I felt beautiful and empowered. So far, the third trimester has been more challenging. I still feel good for the most part, though some of the fatigue seems like it may be coming back (or it could just be that I've been having a rough couple of weeks, which has been the case). And then of course there's the GD thing, which has really put a damper on things. Generally speaking though, I really haven't had to deal with a great majority of the physical "ailments" associated with pregnancy, so I can't complain from that standpoint. Physically, pregnancy has been pretty good to me.Emotionally, pregnancy has been more of a roller-coaster. It makes sense, with all those hormones (a friend of mine described it as hormone soup) wreaking havoc in my body. I try to contain my whackadoodle tendencies as much as possible, but sometimes it's just beyond my control- as Brian can attest to (unfortunately for him). :(
The thing is- I'm just going to say it: Despite everything that's wonderful about it, being pregnant is stressful! I mean, is it just me? I'm responsible for housing and growing a person, after all! Well that, and I don't really know what's going on in there- which is an exercise in patience that I haven't quite mastered as of yet. You'd think seven months would be ample time to get this wait-and-see process down, but no such luck. So because we don't know what's going on in there, they have all these medical tests, right? Well, hello- medical tests (taking them, waiting for the results, interpreting the results, dealing with the consequences of the results) - it's all very stressful! Having gone through what I've gone through (with loved ones) over the past oh, say, 6+ years or so, I've become extremely anxious whenever medical tests are involved. Brian always reminds me to not stress until there is actually something to stress about- which I completely agree with- in theory (and I would preach the same to everyone else), but it's hard to do sometimes. Especially when so much remains unknown, and when I feel so responsible for providing a healthy living environment for Bean. Obviously, I realize that some of the things that come up are beyond my control, but others are not so clearly defined. Again- stress. But, I'm trying to get it under control. Some days this is easier said than done, and on any given day I can succeed or fail at it, but I do try to stay upbeat and positive. I have my momentary freak out episodes, but for the most part I think I've been doing a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. :)Now that we're less than two months out, I've been feeling a lot of mixed emotions. I want the next two months to go by quickly and slowly at the same time (and yes, I realize this is impossible). On one hand, part of me wants to fast-forward to post-pregnancy because I'm so excited to meet Bean and see her and have her (out) here with us. Not to mention, I'm not gonna lie- there is some anxiety about the actual birthing process (but I'm working through that). Plus, the GD thing is really doing a number on me, so the quicker I can get through this phase of my life the better (it's a real learning experience, but I canNOT live like this)! On the other hand, another part of me wants to prolong the pregnancy for as long as possible. I actually kind of know how to do this part. Actual motherhood? Yikes! (I say this in jest, of course. Obviously I'm looking forward to motherhood- it's just a little overwhelming to think about is all.) All I'm saying is I know I can't stay pregnant forever (nor would I want to, really), but I want to appreciate this time as much as I can.
And so, as my pregnancy winds down, my plan is to try to brush off discomfort and stress as much as I can and enjoy these last remaining weeks to the greatest extent possible. This is a completely unique moment in time, after all, and I do want to be in the moment and soak it in as much as possible. Because really, GD aside, I love being pregnant. LOVE. I love my belly, I love knowing that Brian and I created this little person and that she is growing inside me, I love feeling her move around, and yeah- I love my maternity jeans. ;) Most of all I love how being pregnant makes me feel- I feel special, and beautiful, and like a kind of a superhero. And who wouldn't want to feel like that for as long as they could?I'm sure I could keep going on and on, but I've already rambled enough, so I'll stop now. To put it simply, my main observation about pregnancy is that it's so much more well - everything (amazing, complicated, wonderful, stressful, blissful, easy, difficult, etc.) - than I ever imagined it would be. And I feel incredibly blessed that we're able to experience it- all of it.
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