Warning: Sentimental Post Ahead!
Our little Lucy is getting big. *sniff, sniff* Yes, I have to admit that this makes me a little sad. I would often hear other moms say things like, "aw, my baby is growing up" with a touch of melancholy, and while I could understand the sadness on some level, I didn't fully comprehend it until recently. For some reason I wasn't expecting to feel this way. I don't know why, but I foolishly thought that I would somehow be immune to it, even though all moms seem to go through it. But yeah, no such luck. Apparently I am human after all. ;)
I find myself waxing nostalgic about her growing up. It just seems like time is going by so fast. I realize this sounds silly, since - hello - she's just barely eight months old! But, I can't help it. She's just so freaking cute and she's getting more fun by the day, which just makes me wish she could stay this way forever. Again, silly- not to mention unrealistic, and not entirely true. Babies grow up, after all- that's what they do, and we want them to do that! We want them to grow and flourish, as Lucy is- this is a wonderful thing! I wonder if we could somehow slow down the growing up process, would that help stave off the sadness? No, I doubt it would. So then I guess the lesson here is for me to slow down, so that I can savor every day. I can honestly say I am doing just that, and that makes me happy.
Don't laugh as I quote the Sex and the City movie, but...in the Sex and the City movie Samantha asks Charlotte, "How often are you happy?" And Charlotte, who finally has the family life she's always wanted, replies, "Every day. Not all day every day, but every day." This resonates with me, because well, I love Charlotte, and also because I can relate to that feeling of happiness, contentment, and appreciation that can only come after not feeling those things. I share that sentiment. Looking back, I couldn't always say that, but now I can. And to be able to say that feels like such a huge blessing- as well as an accomplishment!
I've never, not for a millisecond, regretted my decision to become a stay-at-home-mom- not even on the rough days. On the contrary. One of my dreams, aside from having a loving and supportive best friend of a husband (which I obviously now have), was to be a stay-at-home-mom. I've always known that if I ever had a child, I would want to be at home with her, if it was at all possible. However, I barely spoke of this dream and rarely even allowed myself to think about it, because the possibility of that happening seemed almost as likely as winning the lottery. And yet here I am, living the life I'm living, feeling as though I have won the lottery. It's hard to believe that I'm living that dream- I almost have to pinch myself. I'm so very lucky and so very grateful.
After losing my mom, I've become acutely aware of how precious time is, how fast it goes by, and how we need to make the most of it. Which is one big reason I'm so thankful that I'm able to spend all this precious time with Lucy. I get to watch on a daily basis as she explores her surroundings and discovers the world around her, and I get to help her learn about these things. I get to hang out with her every day and experience these special moments with her. I mean, how lucky am I? Very! And I know it.
I have an amazing family, awesome friends, and the best "job" in the world. I am living the life I used to only dream about. And as a result, I am happy every day. Not all day every day, but every day. :)
I find myself waxing nostalgic about her growing up. It just seems like time is going by so fast. I realize this sounds silly, since - hello - she's just barely eight months old! But, I can't help it. She's just so freaking cute and she's getting more fun by the day, which just makes me wish she could stay this way forever. Again, silly- not to mention unrealistic, and not entirely true. Babies grow up, after all- that's what they do, and we want them to do that! We want them to grow and flourish, as Lucy is- this is a wonderful thing! I wonder if we could somehow slow down the growing up process, would that help stave off the sadness? No, I doubt it would. So then I guess the lesson here is for me to slow down, so that I can savor every day. I can honestly say I am doing just that, and that makes me happy.
Don't laugh as I quote the Sex and the City movie, but...in the Sex and the City movie Samantha asks Charlotte, "How often are you happy?" And Charlotte, who finally has the family life she's always wanted, replies, "Every day. Not all day every day, but every day." This resonates with me, because well, I love Charlotte, and also because I can relate to that feeling of happiness, contentment, and appreciation that can only come after not feeling those things. I share that sentiment. Looking back, I couldn't always say that, but now I can. And to be able to say that feels like such a huge blessing- as well as an accomplishment!
I've never, not for a millisecond, regretted my decision to become a stay-at-home-mom- not even on the rough days. On the contrary. One of my dreams, aside from having a loving and supportive best friend of a husband (which I obviously now have), was to be a stay-at-home-mom. I've always known that if I ever had a child, I would want to be at home with her, if it was at all possible. However, I barely spoke of this dream and rarely even allowed myself to think about it, because the possibility of that happening seemed almost as likely as winning the lottery. And yet here I am, living the life I'm living, feeling as though I have won the lottery. It's hard to believe that I'm living that dream- I almost have to pinch myself. I'm so very lucky and so very grateful.
After losing my mom, I've become acutely aware of how precious time is, how fast it goes by, and how we need to make the most of it. Which is one big reason I'm so thankful that I'm able to spend all this precious time with Lucy. I get to watch on a daily basis as she explores her surroundings and discovers the world around her, and I get to help her learn about these things. I get to hang out with her every day and experience these special moments with her. I mean, how lucky am I? Very! And I know it.
I have an amazing family, awesome friends, and the best "job" in the world. I am living the life I used to only dream about. And as a result, I am happy every day. Not all day every day, but every day. :)
Comments
We'd be really happy if we were able to see you 3 more often.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. We feel so much closer every time we see a new posting. And, that goes back to when Lucy James Bean was "Baby Bean".
These days will always be so special to us as we watch our two new little people grow and turn into amazing men and women. I just can't wait!...well, I can, but you know what I mean ;)
I am so very happy for you guys, I always knew you would someday find your little sweet place in the universe and I am so ridiculously overjoyed for you :)
and I'm happy that I have a great sister to look up to... no matter how much older I get, I continue to look up to you and want to be just like my sister. :)