Happy Life Remembrance Day!
March 11th is as notable a day as any other birthday or anniversary. It's the day my mom passed away. I'd been looking for something to call March 11th for years. "Anniversary" seems rather inappropriate, even though that's basically what it is. After my post on this day last year, my dear friend Susan referred to it as a "Life Remembrance Day" and I like the sound of that, so that's what I'm going with.
As I've mentioned before, I don't mind this day, because rather than focusing on the loss, I choose to focus on remembering and celebrating my mom. The feeling of loss is inescapable, but when remembering and celebrating is the intention, it can't be all bad.
For a while after she passed away, I would have dreams about her that were so real I *felt* her with me. We would have talks about what was going on in my life. I would wake up shaken, because I really felt like I had visited with her, only to wake to find she was gone again. And yet, I treasure those dreams. I wish I still had them, but it's been a while. I still have dreams about her, though, which are always awesome- and yes, a little sad, too. Several days ago I dreamt that we were baking chocolate chip cookies together. (The ones off the back of the Nestle toll house chocolate chips bag- she loved that recipe). Needless to say, I will probably be baking chocolate cookies sometime in the near future. ;)
It's so hard to explain, but because I carry her with me every day of my life, in a sense I feel as though she really is with me and knows what we're up to. And you better believe I felt like she was with me this morning as I ran my longest run to date: twenty minutes straight!! Let me repeat: I ran for twenty (20) minutes! In a row!
I know! No one is more shocked than me. Today was the infamous Week 5, Day 3 of Couch-to-5K. Five weeks ago I could barely run the length of one block without feeling like I was going to collapse. Now, halfway through my C25K journey, I ran for 20 minutes! The most I've run before today was 8 minutes, and that was during my last running session two days ago. Going from 8 minutes to 20 minutes seemed incomprehensible. What happened to the gentle the build-up? No 10 or 12, just straight to 20? Okaaay... All my friends who have completed C25K gave me confidence, reassuring me that I was more prepared than I thought I was. I really hoped so, since I didn't feel very prepared at all! Even as I set out this morning, it was with a bit of a question mark. I didn't see how it could be possible, but I set my mind to doing it the best I could. I would run as far and as long as I could, hoping to be able to complete the 20 minutes. Stopping was not in my mind at all. And you know what? I didn't stop- I did it!
Hours later, I'm still basking in the glow of my accomplishment. Because it is a huge accomplishment for me. I'm so proud of myself! And I'm actually looking forward to running next week!
And maybe baking some chocolate chip cookies. :)
As I've mentioned before, I don't mind this day, because rather than focusing on the loss, I choose to focus on remembering and celebrating my mom. The feeling of loss is inescapable, but when remembering and celebrating is the intention, it can't be all bad.
 |
| I love this photo of us. Even though Mom isn't looking into the camera here, she looks so pretty. :) |
It's so hard to explain, but because I carry her with me every day of my life, in a sense I feel as though she really is with me and knows what we're up to. And you better believe I felt like she was with me this morning as I ran my longest run to date: twenty minutes straight!! Let me repeat: I ran for twenty (20) minutes! In a row!
I know! No one is more shocked than me. Today was the infamous Week 5, Day 3 of Couch-to-5K. Five weeks ago I could barely run the length of one block without feeling like I was going to collapse. Now, halfway through my C25K journey, I ran for 20 minutes! The most I've run before today was 8 minutes, and that was during my last running session two days ago. Going from 8 minutes to 20 minutes seemed incomprehensible. What happened to the gentle the build-up? No 10 or 12, just straight to 20? Okaaay... All my friends who have completed C25K gave me confidence, reassuring me that I was more prepared than I thought I was. I really hoped so, since I didn't feel very prepared at all! Even as I set out this morning, it was with a bit of a question mark. I didn't see how it could be possible, but I set my mind to doing it the best I could. I would run as far and as long as I could, hoping to be able to complete the 20 minutes. Stopping was not in my mind at all. And you know what? I didn't stop- I did it!
Hours later, I'm still basking in the glow of my accomplishment. Because it is a huge accomplishment for me. I'm so proud of myself! And I'm actually looking forward to running next week!
 |
| post-run, red-faced glow |
And maybe baking some chocolate chip cookies. :)
Comments
BTW, YEAH! I'm so PROUD of you!
And, we all love and remember Mom too!
And see!!! Twenty minutes!! Awesome! I told you it takes a bit of time but soon you'll be doing much, much longer wondering how you even struggled with those first couple weeks! I'm so happy for you!